Wednesday, 22 February 2012

One for the ladies - it's just PANTS

Following on from my post 'as we get older' another problem I am sadly experiencing is that my underwear is not only mismatched now but is most probably 3 year old (could be older to fair) and more fitting for Bridget Jones than Bridget Bardot!!

Once upon a time (a life before children) I would spend a lot of money, time and effort sourcing the perfect underwear (oh how I miss Agent Provocateur). Making sure they fit well, created the right cleavage lift (not that at that age I needed much lift), bum didn't need lifting then so thongs were a popular choice and I actually felt comfortable. The right pants and bra could make an outfit and really make your day (or night *wink wink*). Sometimes (okay often) my underwear would become my outfit and the bra would end up my top (oh the shame looking back now) and I'm sure I can remember a time when my knickers where worn on the outside of my outfit....  
                                                                                             was a dare to be fair ;)

Now (a life after children) I don't have a single bra and knicker to match! This is when I can hear my Mam's voice, "what if you had a crash and the doctor had to cut your clothes off?", Ermm kind of hoping the doc would be concentrating more on making me better than making a move (although depends on how good looking he was...). The things Mothers think are important hey ;)

Life has become too busy and priorities have changed to worry about my underwear matching. Rushing round every morning chasing toddlers and getting the preschooler ready for school, whom by the way is JUST like her father and is never organised and can't find anything - even if right infront of them. The last thing on my mind is if I'm going to have a car crash today and would the doc mind if my bra was slightly grey from going through a mixed wash or if my pants were so far hitched up I could give Simon Cowell a run for his money. I should be bothered about the fact that I probably haven't shaved my legs in a few weeks but that's a whole other issue ;)

Thongs are now impossible and resemble something I floss my teeth with and I wouldn't dare put anyone through the image of me trudging the paths on the school run with a bag of ferrets as an ass! And don't even get me started on come once you pass the average C/D cup they start to resemble hammocks, not as pretty in design, certainly not dainty and they have ugly wide straps. If you didn't feel feminine before hand you certainly won't sporting one of these monstrositys. I don't think it's a lot to ask for someone ample chested (34FF) to be able to wear something you?

Nope, it's safe to say that the suck in, tummy tuckers, buttock lifters, waist cinching Bridget Jones pants are now a firm commodity and will be part of my wardrobe collection for sometime (well actually a life time unless I win the lottery and visit doctor plastic).

Oh ladies, hitting my thirties wasn't a problem for me before infact I was quite looking forward to it but the closer September is getting the more things remind me on how my youth is disappearing QUICKLY and how I'm only going to get .....OLDER!!!

Damn the calendar ;-p 


  1. LOL, I also don't have any matching under wear, mainly because I hate to match, I dont know why. It drives Ben mental but I just don't feel right with a matching top and bottom. Sports bra's are a big fave of mine, cos there comfy (jee's I sound like my nan)

  2. They have to be matching coz i did once end up in hosp (gallstone not a Bus) with the grotty "on pants" on and a grey was once white bra .....the shame girls the shame ....PS wait till you hit 40 gravity is a bitch ;)