Saturday, 11 February 2012

As we get older..

Nearly 2 weeks into the diet now and I have lost 5lbs. I was hoping for a far greater loss but I've noticed that the older I am getting the more difficult it is to shift the weight.

Long gone have the days where I could starve myself for 1 week living off tea/coffee and fags and easily loose 6-7lbs in preparation for a big party weekend with the aim to look my best in the tightest, low cut dress god could possibly create (and when I say god I actually mean my love for Karen Millen's creations).

I was (still am) a constant yo-yo dieter and having tried just about every craze out their for the 'quick fix diet' - including Atkins, Maple Syrup (this made me loose weight alright...I threw up all day on this disgusting concoction), cabbage soup (we won't go there), baby food (yep I really did), Weight Watchers (got sick of counting), packaged food delivered to your door (very expensive), Scottish Slimmers and now Slimming World.

As a child and entering into my early teens I was always very slim (my cousin's nickname for me was whippet) and I never really worried about what I ate. I ate what I wanted when I wanted and never seemed to put on weight. I swam and played hockey for the County (this was a bribery from my PE Teacher who promised she wouldn't tell my Mum I was skiving off from Cross Country and having a fag...apparently she saw potential in my hockey skills.....I just didn't want to run cross country so thought what the hell). 

As my body started changing and boobs (sorry to the guys reading this) and curves started to appear I became a lot more conscious of myself and trying to look more like my skinny-er friends who were also slightly more flat chested than I was. Puberty is a cruel time and certainly not something I would like to go through again!

This is when my unhealthy obsession with finding quick fixes (cos I hate exercise) to diet. At my very slimmest (and not the most attractive time) I was wearing the children's clothes range out of Newlook (ages 9 to 15yrs) and could fit my bony feet into a size 4 shoe. I thought I looked fab but my health was suffering - hair would fallout, had really bad skin and I was always ill with colds or some bug. I literately lived off tea, toast, fags and booze and was not in the best place with myself.

I met a guy (the old cliché), whom I fell in love with and made me like who I am again. As all couples do (and don't deny it) I started eating - we'd eat loads of junk food, late night pizzas, meals out etc and the pounds slowly started piling on but felt happy - perhaps this is where the saying, 'blinded by love', becomes relevant. Two kids later and I now look like this.....

Now, once upon a time I would have been devastated (well I'm still quite upset) and would have easily kick started myself into a regime but this time I'm finding it really difficult. Don't know whether this is because I'm older and my priorities have changed, or because I have the love of my life and not having to go out and impress or if because deep down I actually don't care what people think of me (well the latter is a lie sadly I do care). At the time this picture was taken (only a week a go) I actually felt okay - I put on my lala (that's make up by the way), washed and straightened the hair (which is usually tied up in a hair net), got myself a new outfit and spent the best night out with the girlies. Now looking at the picture I think - what the hell, I'm MASSIVE!! How on earth did I go out looking like that!

So peeps, this is where I remind you on why I am torturing myself with rabbit food for 3 months a) to loose weight and b) to raise money and awareness for a charity that is very close to my heart SANDS. So if you have a spare £1 or 2 I would ask you to help support me and the 30+ ladies taking on this challenge (and it really is a challenge as I'm desperate to tuck into one of my cakes again) for an inspiringly strong lady, Kirsti, who's beautiful baby boy, Alfie Joe, was born asleep.

picture with thanks to Picture U Carlisle

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